Friday, April 20, 2007

What the ..?

What is it that I miss most about my motherland,ever since I landed in Germany ??
Nope,its not rasam,sambar,vaazhakkaa poriyal or sun tv's "indhiya tholaikaatchiyil mudhal muraiyaaga ,thiraikku vanthu sila maathangaley aana" dabba movies..its English !
God,how is it humanely possible for a well-developed country to survive without English ? Beats me! Perhaps I feel that way,since in India,knowing English is supposedly the mark of being "highly educated" .But here,I feel like an absolute illiterate.Everytime someone starts to speak German,as a general rule,I keep an absolutely stupid dumbfounded look on my face,and the other person finally asks "English?" .Then I vigorously nod my head and they look at me with so much sympathy.jeez..since when did knowing English become that degrading ?
Worse,they dont seem to understand our English.
Once,my husband had called the receptionist from our room to ask for a shower cap.he simply said "i need a shower cap".And that guy had the audacity to reply "Sorry,can you speak in English ?I dont understand Indian." . I wonder whether he didnt understand the word "shower cap" or whether our way or pronouncing shower cap is so "Indian".
Anyways,looks like The Almighty has sent me to learn one big lesson ."Never take anything for granted in life ,even English."

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 4/20/2007 02:38:00 PM, | 4 comments
Friday, December 8, 2006

Event (mis)management

Yesterday,had been to a team outing at a nearby resort.As usual,some events had been planned by an event manager.I’ve participated in such events before and found them to be fun.But this one took the cake(the wrong way round ,though).I don’t know what sort of contorted thinking u need to have to come up with these games. 1.Pass a card(the size of a visiting card),by holding it with your nose and your mouth(like,you got to pout and balance the card between nose and mouth) and pass it like that to the next in line.He has to take the card from you with his nose and mouth.Thank god,for being in India,the ladies were spared this highly absurd act(we were allowed to pass with our hands).But the guys looked so gay trying to “make a pass” to their male colleagues ;-) 2.Potato race : Carry as many potatoes as you can between your thighs(???) and drop it into a circle at the finish line ..What was the event manager thinking ??? That’s like performing your morning ablutions in public view. Only difference is ,you are dropping potatoes.But,this one was hilarious to watch.Most of the participants(and all were guys,mind you,only they enjoy doing crazy acts in public,I think) ,with the potatoes between their thighs,looked like they had been constipated for months together ,and finally happy at the thought of relieving themselves at the finish line :-)

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 12/08/2006 03:02:00 PM, | 0 comments

Till death do us part !

Two days back,had dinner at Basera.The place was decorated like a mehfil(the kind in Devdas,but a little toned down ).The food was supposed to be good.And I was terribly hungry,having missed lunch.So ,I ordered an American chopsuey for myself(well,the deal was that I had to finish the whole thing myself).When the food arrived,I ,for some peculiar reason,couldnt eat and felt full with just 1/2 of hot n sour soup.As i started to make the usual i-cant-eat-anymore expressions,
Husband:You are finishing it.
Me:I cant ,unless you want me to die on the spot.
Husband:You ARE finishing it(wicked grin)
Enna family !!

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 12/08/2006 09:32:00 AM, | 0 comments
Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Young@ vocab

“What does this remind you of?” ,he said as he pushed a shapely 7-up bottle towards the other chap.
After receiving the usual,I don’t know shrug from the other guy ,he said “Mallika Sherawat! Awesome right?”.
Recently ,when I was traveling by train,I happened to “overhear” this piece of conversation between a ,say,50 yr old and a young man.[I wouldn’t call it eavesdropping.What else can you do when people sitting right next to you make it a point to shout their lungs out instead of speaking at normal decibel levels?Besides,it seemed liked the family never talk to each other at home.They must have decided to do a lifetime of talking in the train.Non-stop.].Of course,it was the 50 year old who quipped about Mallika Sherawat.The “old man” seemed to be really verry young at heart,or so he thought.I heard lots of “damn” and “ get our asses back here” “crap” “bloody b*****ds” ,”Sensuous”, and words like that in his conversation.What makes some old people think that by using slang like that,they can bridge the gap with the youngsters ,that they can prove that they are cool,that they are still sweet 16 at heart and in vocab??? I just don’t get it. And yea,when they were about to get off the train,he quipped yet again “Hey,lets not forget to take Mallika Sherawat with us,ok?”

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 12/06/2006 11:04:00 AM, | 0 comments
Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Mera Number Kab Aayega?

“Ovoru manushanukkum oru breaking point irukku”.I think I’ve hit mine.In my professional life,that is.But ,well ,I hit this breaking point more than once and that last two times ,I didn’t do more than fret and fume at y I am where I am,and why I am still there..

But this time,I’ve decided .I’m going to do something about it.

Alternative 1: Get a new job.

Pros : More salary.More spacious cubicle.Unlimited 24-hr internet access to ALL sites.Paper tissues in the ofc washrooms.

Cons:Same old cut,copy,paste.Office politics.Still need to butter up your boss.

Alternative 2: Get an MBA.

Pros :- Plump pay package.Pompous job designation that has the words Business & Manager somewhere in it.Your old colleagues look at you in envy and say “Ohhh!! MBA-va ?..!”

Cons: Almost a year of preparation to get into B-School.And for all that prep,you still may not be able to bell the CAT.And once you do get into B-School,too too much hard work.

Alternative 3:Just stay put in your comfort zone.Wake up once in a while and cry “Mera Number Kab Ayega?” .That seems to be precisely what I am doing.

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 11/22/2006 04:07:00 PM, | 1 comments
Monday, November 20, 2006

24*7!

I've to write something here ! Day One: I created the blog,I beautified it,changed fonts ,colors,layouts,I did everything but write something into it.
So,here goes,justice to my blog.Now,the million dollar question-what do I write about?Personal stuff on my blog is a no-no.So,nothing abt feeling low,breakups,in house fights.I'm 40 pages into my next read,so cant write abt that either.I havent travelled,trekked,bungee jumped,para sailed or done anything as exciting as that ever in my life .I watched a dumbass movie called "Apna Sapna money money" which seems to run solely on skin-shows(imagine ,3 gorgeous,skimpily dressed babes in the movie).So,cant possibly write abt that either.So..what ?
Yo,one thing that caught my attention in the past few days is the drama surrounding Anant's (adobe ceo's son) kidnapping.Alright,the kid was kidnapped,kept in custody,probably ransom was asked for,and then he was released.The news should have ended there,right?But,thanks to 24*7 news channels,it didnt!The media wasnt happy with just the boy returning home safe and sound.How did he return? By himself?Or an auto?Paid by kidnappers?Did the police rescue him or not?Was ransom given?How much?did they really give ransom?Y is the police hiding that from media?But anants father says ransom was asked for ?gah,this whole thing is a political ploy -screams media .Then Adobe CEO goes live to defend the police! Crazy..Man,even soap operas and mega tv serials do better than this .Reminds me of the whole "Prince falling into well" reality show..And if theres nothing else to chew about,theres always cricket..and noodlestraps.. and a complete professional,anatomical,biographical dissection of the Indian Cricket team(So what if these guys are making money by showing pearly white teeth and drinking energy drinks?Nope,they've to play good cricket on the field,not just in the ads.).I've never really understood the game of cricket and I never watch it unless its India pitted against Pakistan.To add to my woes,my husband is a complete sports buff.50% percent of our married life is spent in an eternal fight for the remote control..[I just wish I could implement a firewall for sports channels and wipe them off our tv forever]
So,where exactly is 24*7 news heading to ?Are we all going to die from an overdosage of Burkha Dutt,the Devils Advocate,Rajdeep Sardesai and the likes ?

Labels:

 
posted by Couch Potato at 11/20/2006 11:27:00 AM, | 0 comments